Well… it’s been a while. Quite a while. I started this blog years ago to talk about my quest for simplicity in the midst of my crazy life. It seems I have been on a quest for most of my life. A quest for this or that, a quest for more or less, a quest to find what would make me happy, what would fulfill my life and every time I always felt I was putting stuff into a box that could never be filled.
By this, I mean, I avoided the one thing that could make me full and that’s loving me for me. I’ve lived much of my life working to make others happy, feeling that was my role in life. I loved making others happy and I return I felt happy, if only for a short while. As I have been doing some incredibly hard, inner work through my hope of one day becoming an ACPE Certified Supervisor, these last few years have been excruciating at times, daunting and many days I’ve felt at a loss. However, I have been growing.
Shedding the adolescent, selfish, misconstrued way I have shown up in the world has allowed me to fully see myself, understand myself, fight some good fights with myself, question myself and others and eventually “settle in”to truly loving myself, all the parts of me. The good, the bad and the ugly. I have felt the last year or so I’ve been on a journey of coming home in myself, with myself, and to myself. As I looked for home outside of myself and never felt I had found it, it was because it was within me and I needed to, and continue journeying home.
I hope to blog about parts of this journey that have brought me to this place today and the continued journey I’m living out daily. I feel late to the game though I tried to start earlier on, but as I enter my last year in my thirties and am having difficulty accepting 40 is right around the corner, maybe the time is right. I’m walking into 39 with a greater view of life, love and God. 2020 has already been a doozy of a year so far. Part of me feared what the rest of 2020 holds, but now I’m embracing it whatever challenges, pain, unrest, and rain it may bring looking for the rainbows, grace, hope and joy in the midst.
I’ve become addicted to RFD-TV and the FarmHer show (along with other shows on that channel). Marji, the FarmHer herself, has a section on her YouTube channel called #seethegood. This is what I want to do everyday. Embrace what challenges there may be still seeing the good, the blessings of each day. So, The Journey Home begins. On “paper” at least, or the web so it seems. Enough questing, it’s time to come home.
Amen and Amen. ❤️
The Journey Home 