It’s been a while. I am still working within my chaplain job. I have also been surprised how much harvest I’ve been getting from the garden since May. I planted several veggies as an experiment and have had abundance. I’m so grateful. I may write a post on that at some point. I’ve been trying to but as I said last year, reflection and writing are a desire but not a strong point for me. Going into my 44th year and looking over my goals from my 43rd, I have found that setting intentions has been super helpful for me starting a new year of life. I have done really well in my intentions from last year and hope to set some thoughtful ones again this year.
Reflecting on my intentions from last year, I have really grown in my awareness of myself, not only growing as a gardener but growing as an adult woman. My family has become core to my identity and where I spend my energy and find my joy. This has been strongly cultivated in the last year. I have integrated myself in helping my aging parents and being more present with my husband and daughter, as well as extended family.
I find my greatest struggle with in my work still, and I will continue this year to define what I want to do and/or continue to do. This will be a primary focus in moving forward this year. So intentions for my year of 44:
1- I want to walk more with Lola. Our long neighborhood walks. My garden and figuring out time management has been a struggle this year. A good struggle, but I have neglected my personal health in my goals of walking more and with intention. Exercising in my garden is great but it’s not the same as exercising my physical body along with time for my dog. I hope to set an intention to walk 4xs a week, 1-2 miles, with Lola in the mornings or evenings of the day. My garden requires my greatest attention every other day and now that I’m in a rhythm, I can begin to plan more outside of it.
2- I want to continue to be open to opportunities for possible employment outside the hospital if that be where I’m called to go. I honestly want to take 3-6 months off to recuperate and discern my next course, but due to our two income home this doesn’t seem possible. I also need health insurance. I understand this is all privilege. My work is hard, demanding, and intense. I don’t know how much more trauma I can engage and endure. Secondary trauma stress/vicarious trauma is more real than I wanted to believe it was. I’m sure I will write a post to reflect on this too. As a whole, I am burned out, very crispy and something has got to give within the next year.
3- I’m continuing to be invested in the women’s ministry at church and book club. I’m leading a seasonal Bible study that lightly pushes the boundaries of some and this continues to feed my soul and give me purpose. Looking back on last years’s goals- I still need to commit to read more fiction…
4- I want to be more present for my daughter. I’ve worked hard to cultivate a better, more attentive marriage with Jeremiah. This will continue, but as my daughter is coming of age I feel a need to be more attentive to her growth of self and her needs. This past year, I have surprisingly deepened my relationship with my mother, being there for her and taking care of her more as she ages. This has surprised me at times when I call her to spend time with me and my daughter and she’s willingly helped me in the garden and pickling. This year has healed wounds and created tenderness within me as I care for her.
5- I want to hone in more homemaking skills. I am doing well with sewing and water bath canning, but I want to deepen my understanding of preserving and storing. I also continue to hold out hope I’ll afford and find a sewing machine I can actually use (and enjoy using). I hope to make our clothes one day in the future too.
6- I want to keep my gardens going (food and flowers). I want to plant 2 new crops a season and work more with companion planting.
So here’s to 44. I feel this year will be defining for much of the second half of my life. At least that’s what I hope for it.
The Journey Home 